Today I want to talk about what positive parenting is, and the mindset needed to develop this style of parenting.
For me, positive parenting isn’t a specific set of skills and proper responses to raising children.
It isn’t a list of techniques or phrases you have to memorize that will magically work in any given parenting situation.
Instead, I see positive parenting as more of a conscious choice of a mindset and attitude, from which the proper techniques and responses will be made.
While there are certain phrases and techniques that would fall into a positive parenting category, it isn’t those specific responses and phrases that paint the full picture of what positive parenting is all about.
So, what is positive parenting really all about?
Positive parenting is a mindset.
It isn’t a specific set of rules, or a list of guidelines that must be followed in order for someone to say they practice positive parenting.
To really get into positive parenting requires adopting a certain mindset. It’s a mindset of optimism, trusting in your children, a softening around the edges, and making a decision to be a stronger, more loving and compassionate person.
Positive parenting is an attitude.
It’s an attitude that requires practice and discipline, and is characterized by compassion, concern, empathy and understanding.
For the positive parent, attitude really is everything. When we interact and engage with the world, what we put out into it is what we get back. Having a positive, optimistic and cheerful attitude first is often required before expecting the same of your children.
If we’re yelling and whining with our children throughout the day, can we not expect to get the same thing back from them? But if we are speaking with them calmly and cheerfully, maybe we can’t expect the same back but it is more often than not the result we will see. And the positive parent knows it.
Positive parenting is a choice.
It’s a deliberate choice you make, which takes commitment and dedication.
You want the best for your kids, and you know that screaming and shaming and spanking and fighting is never for the best, for them and for you. So during those moments when you’ve had enough and you feel triggered to lash out, to scream, and to give up, instead of caving in to your frustrations, you consciously choose to change your attitude.
It’s taking the high road when choosing the low one is more tempting in the moment.
It’s trusting and having faith in your kids, rather than doubting them.
Positive parenting is a choice to adopt a mindset of faith, optimism, compassion, and forgiveness.
Maybe it isn’t the easiest choice, but when we positive-parents say we want the best for our kids, we really mean it.